I looked up at her and forced myself to smile, a crooked smile that felt too wide for anyone to find believable. ‘And… honestly, you’d be surprised how many girls there are who want to keep their t-shirt on when they’re having sex. If you don’t want to tell Sean why, just tell him you’re shy. And then… rock on!’ I said, feeling like the largest hypocrite in the world. As we walked back to the house I tried to think of something to say to Rose that would make her understand how much I cared for her, how much I needed her to stay alive, how sorry I was for not helping her much sooner and… hundreds of other things I had never told her or anyone else. Words, that usually came so easy to me, I just couldn’t put them in a good enough order. Frustration made my words to Sean, as we met him by the house, become sharper than I had intended as I asked him to walk me to my car. We walked away in silence, but before we were too far away from Rose I turned around and yelled ‘I love you!’. Three. Fortunately for him, Jen had lots of experience with this. The four of us developed a good rapport. It’s often a mistake double dating on a first date. You really can’t give the other person your undivided attention. But doubling often eases the awkwardness of not having any idea whether you’ll have something to talk about or whether you’ll be able to talk comfortably after the introductions. I could tell Rich had nerd leanings, but he had been out in the business world long enough to develop some polish. Could I expect that of Jeff? Probably not. Jeff wasn’t really in the business world and pretty much marched to his own drummer. More important, he didn’t care. You can’t change if you don’t want to. Rich was twenty-six, had an MBA and was pretty good looking. His body had good definition and he was around five inches taller than Jen, which meant she would not be limited in her selection of shoes. I know. I know there are more important things than appearance, but there’s nothing.
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