After the session before last, I lost my enthusiasm for ranting at Jenny. I just couldn't muster the passion if I wasn't going to call her a slut and a whore, or something similar. Talking to a shrink has helped some, although I don't know why; I never believed in that sort of thing, certainly not that it might have any effect in just a week. Still when we went back to see Dr. Gardner after sleeping in the same bed for a week, I was beginning to think that there might be some outer limits to my anger, that I might be able to contain it. I found I was looking forward to tonight when I could say positive things to her, and I always meant those.If only - are there any sadder words? If only I could stop seeing images of her with those officers. I keep replaying conversations I had with those men, wondering if they ever let me hear them laughing at me, taunting me. Every time I start talk to Jenny about holding her in bed, or more, I'm flooded with the image of one of those fat slobs. When my sister found me I was expecting her to be ready to go, it had been over an hour by that time and I never take that long shopping. Instead she had found me so that she could get my opinion on which suit looked best. Rolling my eyes I followed her to the changing area so she could try them on and come out to show me.The first one she showed me I thought looked really sweet and told her so. She looked disappointed and went in to try another one. This time she came out in one that was nearly the same shade of tan as her skin so at first I did a double then a triple take thinking she had come out wearing nothing. I guess the look on my face told her she had found what she was looking for because she laughed and tossed back her shoulder length brown tresses and struck a very sexy pose asking if I liked it. After recovering a bit I told our dad would kill me if I let her come home with that. She laughed and tried on a few more but each time I realized a little more how sexy my.
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