"You telling me you thought that all out on the spot, girl?" he demanded."Well..." She hesitated and looked abashed. "OK, no, not exactly. Not all of it. Mostly I just saw that shotgun pointing at us, threatening us, and I thought right, just eliminate the threat. If he'd tried to fire after I fried his gun it would just have blown up in his face and we'd be OK." See, now, that's civilian thinking," said Antonio. "You see a gun, you worry about the gun. But a military mind recognizes that the gun ain't no more than a tool, no different from a shovel or a hammer. It doesn't shoot by itself any more than a shovel digs or a hammer pounds nails without there's a human being using it. Like they say, guns don't kill people, people kill people. The gun ain't the threat, your enemy holding it's the threat. Understand?"She nodded. "Of course. But if you take away the tool, isn't that the same bottom line?" No, ma'am! Is that the only tool he has, the only gun? You waste a shot on the weapon. She also told me to use abreast pump. The doctor said I might get milk within a month, but thatit might take 3 months, which at this point would work out almostperfectly as my Mom was 6 months along and now really showing. She alsoexplained that my breasts would get bigger and to make sure I change mybra accordingly. She said my breasts will feel full and heavy and thatif I wasn't able to breastfeed, but felt real uncomfortable, that Ishould express my milk with the pump. I started to take the pills and to hook myself up to the breast pump.The pump felt strange, this big sucking on my tits. Kelly had come overand was very interested in what I was doing, but she also found it weirdat how enthusiastic my parents were about this. I told her that I waslooking forward to the baby arriving. I kept thinking that maybe Ishould tell her the truth about myself, but I realized that there was noway she would probably believe me. She and I had a long talk aboutbabies and baby care. She said, "I.
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