I can't wait to see the young man that you have grown into being. I think I can see why Jason had to die that night so long ago. I think a very large part of him died on January 5th of that year. It just took a little while for him to realize that he had to die in order to live. I understand that more now, since, in a sense, I too died a little than night in early January. As the days turned into weeks, then years, that woman who was alive that night died too. She died of grief and shame. She finally confronted her shame and sought help. It took almost a year for her to finally admit her shame and guilt, and learn to live with her mistakes. I am still learning how to get along with the loss of my precious son. I think that if I meet this new man that he has become, I can accept the fact that Jason is gone for good. I promise I will try not to blubber too much when I see you, but I may not be able to hold back. I promise that I will not treat you like I did before Jason left me. I. I went down tobreakfast, my sister was already eating because she needed to goto work. On Saturday's she worked all day so she could haveSunday off to study. I was kneeing in my chair leaning forwardeating my food when my sister got up to go to work. What Ididn't know was that the top of my jock strap started stickingout above my underwear by my ass. When my sister saw it shereached out and snapped it and yelled what's this! My faceturned beet red and then my mother calmly asked me what it was. Then my sister continued to tease me and I finally yelled outthat it was my jock strap. My mother said why are you wearingyour jock strap? Before I could answer my sister startedteasing me again, at this point we were in a full blown fightyelling at each other. My mother told me to go to her bedroomand shut the door and then she told my sister to shut up. Iwent to her bedroom and waited. I could here my sister andmother talking and my mother was scolding her for embarrassingme. My.
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