It was empty but shortly we saw the woman come out of the bar and a man was with her. They got in the car and soon he was all you could see for several minutes. When she was alone in the car again, Herb and I prompted each other to go do it. Finally I got up the nerve and got out of the car and went to hers. I stood next to her passenger’s side door and looked in. She looked to be almost my mother's age, skinny and not very pretty. I almost chickened out when she said, "Hi. Hope in." I got up my nerve and opened the door and got in. I held my five dollars out to her. Smiling, she said, "You've never been here before but I see that you know why I'm here." She took my five and opened her blouse, exposing her somewhat sagging C-cup tits. She took my hand and pulled it to her chest while she reached for my pants. After she had unbuckled my belt and unzipped my fly, she told me to pull my pants down. I pulled then down to my mid thighs. I admit that I was nervous. My cock. We never needed to say it, we knew.’ I nodded slowly. ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘You don’t need to be.’ She stood up. ‘Have another cigarette and come back when you’re ready, OK?’ She leaned down to look closely into my eyes and I nodded again. ‘Silly cow.’ I smiled a wan smile to myself as she walked away. I had never had a lover since University. I had always hoped, always half expected that Jess would claim me. I knew at the same time that she never would but nobody came close, nobody else mattered in that way. Oh, of course I had had people to share my bed, to fuck, but that’s all it was. They always disappointed, always fell short. Only Jess would do. I smoked another cigarette then, feeling extremely silly and embarrassed walked slowly back towards the hotel. Tippi was standing on the path, the sun behind her and through the soft white cotton of her long skirt her legs were shadows. I couldn’t see her face. ‘I feel such a twat.’ She slipped her arm through mine and we walked like that.
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