Finally, I choked it back down. Mostly. What I finally saidwas, "Yeah, but it's a little hard to go out some places like this, youknow? What if she wants to go to a party with people from school?" "Like this one?" asked Pam. Even I snorted at that. Everyone elsedidn't bother holding it in. "Yeah," I said, "but you're all cool, and not everyone is." I wasgetting smarter about what I let out of my mouth as the night went on -I could tell. "This is true," Kathy said like it was the most obvious thing inthe world, which got everyone to laugh some more. "We are, of course,the coolest people in town, actually." "Oh, gosh," I gushed in the valliest voice I could manage, "and youlet me _be_ here! Oh, thankyou thankyou thankyou!" and got down on thefloor and kowtowed. "I'm so unworthy! I'm so honored!" "You're such a twit," said Debbie. But she giggled as she wassaying it.***23:13 18 Jan "He is _such_ a hunk!" Pam moaned happily. I snorted. "He has to. I had been tempted to skip school for a few days myself. Guess I was too diligent a student or something. There had been interviews with the principal, the cops, and a school board superintendent but things had quieted down eventually. Carson had been expelled and was facing charges so was not around to bother me.“Hey, man,” Eric said as he dropped on to the bench beside me, “I’m sorry.”“For what?”He looked down at his feet and explained in a soft tone, “You asked if I wanted you to blow. I turned you down. That was fucking stupid. Of course, I wanted it.”“Then why did you say ‘no’?” I asked.Eric looked like he was going to cry for a moment.“Because no one ever offered it to me before,” he answered, “I was in shock, I think. It’s like, I’m a fucking man slut who gives, not gets.”“That how it is with the man?”“It was. I’m done with him,” Eric responded, briefly sounding angry, “Waste of my fucking life that was.”“Sorry to hear. We all make mistakes.”I put an arm out and patted him on.
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