I reminded myself that much of my success where feeding was concerned depended on stealth and subterfuge. I also concluded that because my survival depended on the taking of blood, this very act was also responsible for shaping my attitudes towards those that sustained my existence. Something in me was repelled by the idea of taking of blood for its own sake. It was centred on the old homily about 'eating to live and living to eat'. The idea of becoming a creature that drank blood to assuage its lust for blood was abhorrent. I realised that I needed to safeguard myself from becoming a thing that was driven by a ravenous lust for blood.After much self-examination I realised that compassion was the safeguard that prevented an intelligent, reasoning life form from becoming a mere leech. If I could feel compassion for those deserving of it I would not fall into the trap of regarding breathers as so much cattle. Perhaps the death of all emotion is true death. Perhaps those that followed. He gives me anything I want. I love him so much that I wanted to give him what he wanted. We don’t seem to, um… well, do it as much as we used to.’ ‘But Marcy, Mark didn’t really look like a man that was having a good time. Did you talk to him about this?’ ‘No, I just did what I read in the book.’ She was starting to see the light. ‘So what was in the book?’ ‘Well, one of the pages had been bent like a book mark. I did it just like in the story, I put him in that chair and went to a bar and picked up a man.’ ‘Marcy, you went to a bar and picked up a man that you know nothing about, you brought him into your home and had unprotected sex with him, all of this because Mark doesn’t make love to you as often as when he was younger. Is that about the size of it?’ All of the color drained from her face as she realized exactly how badly flawed her plan had been. ‘Oh my dear god, what have I done? I only wanted Mark to be happy…God I love him so much.’ ‘Marcy, I’m going to let you loose from.
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