As I approached the big ‘three-oh’, I couldn’t help regretting I hadn’t found a man with the qualities I was looking for. Besides, Mum and Dad were making noises about grandchildren. However, I was not going to ‘settle’. Mum kept producing young men and some of them might have been almost acceptable, but there was always something. Sometimes, an otherwise intelligent man would (out of sight of my parents) be a little free with his hands. Some, to be brutally frank, were arrogant, and others ... vapid. No. I wanted an intelligent man, who shared similar interests to mine, considerate and (less important) reasonably good looking.The day I met Rob, I’d been visiting my parents in Gainsborough. I’d had an early lunch with them and another young man who was rather full of himself, and had set off back to Sheffield to meet a student I was trying to support. I thought I had plenty of time, but the MG misfired as I approached the roundabout by the A1 and sensibly, I pulled off to the. She was the effervescent one, always eager to please. You were the quiet one, holding something in reserve.Two years, perhaps three, after that first meeting, Jing-fei came to this country to continue her studies at UB. You remained in college at home, with plans for you to join Jing-fei when you graduated.That was when we got know each other. To be accepted by UB, you had to get an adequate score on your TOEFL exam, and you needed to submit an essay that would assure you a place. We were soon in the thick of an e-mail correspondence that started with my help with your English, and soon progressed to sharing ideas, and eventually thoughts. My heart went out to you as you confided in me. You were so fearful, so afraid of failure, expecting failure. You said nothing directly of your relationship with Jing-fei, but slowly, by hints and allusions, it became clear to me. Jing-fei, the princess of the family, who could do no wrong, dominated you. She reinforced the loneliness and rejection.
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