I am not trying to make excuses baby butit's why I have been so hard to live with, the guilt was killing me.Sometimes I acted like a real bitch. For that I am sorry." OK Lauren, thanks for at least finally being honest with me. So whathappens now?" I want to move back home, I don't want a divorce. I know I have beencompletely selfish and self-centred yes and a bitch. But the reality isI need you in my life I feel lost without you." OK Lauren you haven't answered my question what happens now? If youwant to move back home and give it another go, try to repair ourmarriage then what are you going to do about Alecia? I refuse to livewith anymore cheating or lies." Baby is it possible that if I moved back home that I could still seeAlecia?" What! Don't be ridiculous. You expect me to just sit at home while youcarry on with her?" Would that be so bad baby? I can still be committed to us and seeAlecia as well." Don't be stupid Lauren, how can you be committed to a relationshipwith me when. " Well, we don't have much time this afternoon, so how about tomorrow? And, let me think about the rest, you know, how fast and how far."I was awake during the night much more than usual. And I was rubbing myself most of the time just thinking about the day to come when my brother and I start doing sex with each other.Where should we start, I wonder. Just get naked and see what happens? Do oral at first? Just jump right in and have intercourse? Hmm, that's too fast. Maybe just get naked and play with each other? All these decisions. And, I'm nervous. What if he doesn't think I'm pretty? No, I know I'm prettier than Heather Richards. Finally, I fall asleep.The next day at school, I'm preoccupied with one thing and one thing only, sex with Ryan. Taking my clothes off. We haven't been naked together since we were maybe six and eight. A lot has changed since those days.I've got boobs, for one, well, for two. Nice ones, too. Pretty pink nipples that get really hard when I play with them..
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