Christ! I can't even kill myself properly!" I thought with despair over having to return to the same loveless life I had been living. Immediately, I felt myself beginning to sink back into the all-too-familiar feelings of depression.The hand holding the covers was young looking, not like the gnarled and scarred hand I was used to seeing. But I was so overwrought with depression, I let it go by without thinking anymore about it." So. I screwed up my own suicide and they've put me in this museum of an institution. But whatthefuck have they done to my body? Is it hallucinatory drugs?" I wondered. "Or could they be using me for some sort of experimental body transplant?" The ideas kept running through my mind, growing wilder and crazier.Finally, I decided that this must be hell. I mean, deep down inside, I knew it was still me. Phil Brown. Fifty-six year old loser. And I had always heard that people who commit suicide aren't supposed to get into heaven. So I figured that this must be. I keep a makeup bag readyas well with feminine hygiene stuff, deodorant, and cosmetics ready. Ikeep some leg warmers and some sweats (pink, of course) in the bag aswell. And of course one of my many wrap-around skirts as well. My damnpenis keeps getting big when I put on a leotard and tights and I've gotto cover that with something!. I hurried and gave Mother a kiss as Iwalked out the front door.Miss Davis has three daughters; 6, 7, and 9. It being a Saturday morning,they informed me right away that they have dance class and we needed toget moving if they were to get there on time. Miss Davis was happy to seethat I was dressed in my maid's clothing and informed me that I was towalk the girls to their dance lessons. All three were wearing their blackleotards and pink tights. They had on little skirts and their regularshoes. "We can't walk in our ballet slippers!" Little Miss Janet informedme. I knew that already and complemented her on being prepared for herlessons. Janet is six,.
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