Stop coddling him. Make him know how difficult this is for you. Make him deal with the world, stop doing it for him. I understand why you have been, but the best thing for you to do now is stop. Force him to deal with things." Why?" Because he's avoiding anything emotional, and he can't continue to do this. He goes to class and studies, but that's because that's purely intellectual--like you said, he's on autopilot as far as that goes. But he's avoiding skating, because that is an emotional experience. He's avoiding any closeness with you for the same reason. His friends, his skating friends, going out and enjoying a movie--all of it. He's trying to shut down emotionally so he won't feel the pain. I don't think I have to tell you how unhealthy that is." No, you don't." I'm warning you, Sophia, this will not be easy. You might have to goad him. Get him mad, get him unhappy, get him amorous, but you probably will have to force the issue. And, when it all comes out, it is not going to. My favorite "spotter" Lois Lynch with her petite backside and man-hating attitudes kept feeding me updates on the target's activities and his habits which usually gave me the key to finding the best way of completing the assignment. I discovered that he never missed the 5:15 bus from xxxxx to xxxxxx and that he liked to sit all the way in the back where he wasn't crowded. I decided that it would be the best place to take action and made certain that on a special Friday afternoon I was comfortably seated in the back row of the color coded bus pretending to be snoozing like some of the other passengers. I watched the target board the bus and as luck would have it he actually sat directly in front of me totally defenseless against my quick silenced round to the back of his head. It was so easy that it was almost laughable. In my haste to celebrate the impending success, I missed the slender young man with his hat pulled down low over his face sitting right behind the driver after.
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