He invited me to a party on my first Friday there and I made the mistake of trying to keep up with him drinking beer. We stayed at the party, drinking, chatting and dancing till about midnight. We kissed and made out. When we left together, he put his arm around my waist.He asked me to come by his place for another beer. I knew I was very drunk and refused, but he just laughed. I’m a bit hazy about exactly what happened, but we ended up in his place anyway. As he got me a can of beer from the fridge, he said his flatmate was out for the weekend. By this time, I'd sobered up. I didn’t really want the beer, but took it over my better judgment. We sat on the couch in the living room and he kissed me again.I kissed him back hesitantly. I was not sure I wanted this, but I felt I had led him on and “owed” him, especially after the episode on the flight over from Newark. So when he pulled my top up over my head, I helped him take it off.He unfastened my bra and kissed my nipples muttering,. Oh yes and the grassy section here, well the brush strokes are so sloppy, just awful. And those are just a few of the mistakes. No, this is nothing but an advanced paint by number. I tried to turn down the gala opening, but was pressured into it. I feel like such a fool for hanging these things up.’ With that he shook his head and sulked away. I sat there dumfounded. I turned back to the painting and just could not understand how he could nit pick and point out such petty flaws. No one looked at a painting and saw those things! They looked at the picture as a whole and– My thoughts were stopped in their tracks, and I thought back to myself, standing in front of the mirror, finding every tiny thing wrong with me. Things that my husband, and many others, just did not see. They saw me as a whole, as who I am, all wrapped up together in a body that may not be perfect but that is not what they wanted. They did not expect perfection did they, when they looked at my body. Just as when I.
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