After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then pee.5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.Thought you’d like to know.These are compliments of cbarge... FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA ... FLOOR.2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION? SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE. That's when I became an asshole, at least in the eyes of someone otherthan myself. And that's the first time I truly knew what it felt like toget dumped. In the real world, well, my breakups had been few and they'dall been mutual partings. I had different relationships as Steve than Idid as Rachel, for one.After that, I stopped caring so much. Rachel was an adult now, and shewas allowed to have a sex drive, dammit! So sexting, and exchangingnaughty pictures became a part of all my online relationships. I stoppedgetting as emotionally involved.Then I met Rebecca. Rachel and Rebecca were like two peas in a pod. Ifell in love, and hard. Hell, Rebecca and Steve would've made a goodpair.During that relationship is with Rachel moved to California and began heracting career. It also marked the beginning of my career as aprofessional screenwriter and the looming potential for a real-life moveto Los Angeles.Rebecca didn't last either, unfortunately. There was the gnawingsuspicion.
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