Mom came out of the kitchen with a pot of her casserole. Her world-famous chicken casserole, as I remember Dad ... Patrick calling it when I was little. She went in the kitchen and came back with a few accouterments to the meal.She sat, and Patrick bowed his head and said, “Dear Lord, bless this family. Help us to be better than we are. We hope this food will be as tasteful as it is beautiful. Look down upon my children, keep them in the hollow of thy hand.”I said a quiet Amen to myself, as the food was handed around. The dialogue, during dinner was sparse. We never were that kind of family that told about everything that happened. In this case, it would only cause trouble, and I was enjoying the evening of peace that was settling on the four of us. Dinner went better than I would’ve expected.Dad went and watched CNN, as Sean and I helped mom clear the table. We sent mom out, and we washed dishes.“I surprised you, didn’t I?” I said to him.“I really am sorry about how I treated you.. But some days when I leave, it feels as if I’m abandoning him. Leaving him as the rest of the world has done. I sit up, slowly putting on my shoes, blinking back tears of my own. I feel him looking at me, and he tells me not to cry. I reply that I’m not going to. He knows I’m lying. I blink them down far enough that it’s safe to look at him. He leans towards me, waiting for me to go. I don’t want to. I’m stalling. He reaches out and catches my chin between his thumb and forefinger, then releases it, telling me that everything will be fine. I sigh, glancing away, knowing that his version of fine is vastly different from my own. My eyes drift back over to him, and I lean forward, resting my head on his shoulder. He tips his head down, rubbing his chin on the top of my head. He lifts one hand, his fingers entangling in the hair at the nape of my neck as his thumb brushes across my jaw. His hand moves, and he brushes my hair back from my cheek, before turning it, stroking my cheek.
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