You have no right whatsoever to force yourself on him. Never forget that he is your better in any way. Don’t even dream of making him do something. If he wants to do something to you, that’s his decision and his alone.”I really hoped that was enough for Rex’ protection.“So why didn’t you just fuck her?” Kat asked during the next of our regular phone calls. I had told her all that had happened that day.“That’s a dumb question. I have a girlfriend, you know. I wouldn’t cheat on you. Also, well, it would basically have bee rape. I like to think that I’m better than that.”“If you want to fuck her, go ahead. It’s not problem with me.”“What? Is that your way of a dear John call or something? Or why would you want to push me on her? Girlfriends are not supposed to do that.”“I don’t care about what someone thinks I’m supposed to do. I want to make you happy, and if that means you go and fuck half the school that’s okay.“And what are you saying about rape? From your description it sounds like. As it was quite dark in thehallway I thought I would take the chance, surely in this light he wouldreally think I was a girl? I decided to take the chance. I unlocked thedoor and opened it, big mistake!My boyfriend is bigger and stronger than me, so when he pushed at thedoor, it pushed me back into the hallway too. There was a genuine shockfor me too, as he was wearing a leather face mask, which I did not know heowned. He had bought it as a surprise! There always is a little bit ofnatural fear and anxiety for me when we play these games. Even though Iknow it's really just my boyfriend and it is only a game. There is stillthe uncertainty of not knowing just what he will do to me, how he'll treatme, what he will say to me, how and where he will actually rape me, etc.Also I realise that this is a domination fantasy for him too, that when hedoes fuck me, it will not be as the gentle considerate lover that heusually is. It will be rape, he will not really care if he hurts me alittle when.
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