"Then nothing. She pushed me...she kicked me...she ran away...she dressed and told me to take her home," I said. I was on the verge of bursting into tears. I knew that if I did cry, I would be mother's little boy again. I had to be a man and not cry. I had to!"Did you ask her what was wrong?" she pressed."Yes, mom! I asked her what was wrong, and she would not answer me," I said. In my attempt to not cry, I was beginning to get agree. I was angry at mother, myself, and Carol."Do you want me to talk to her or her other?" mom for heaven's sake, just let it be! Don't do anything, please!" I pleaded."It looks like Carol is the only one who can tell you what went wrong. Give her a call but don't start out apologizing," mother concluded. Adding, "Never apologize until you know what you..." Her words trailed off as she stood and left the room.I called her the next morning. Her mother answered and told me Carol was not feeling well. I told her to tell Carol I hoped she felt. Being sexually inexperienced, the noises were like listening in on a strange new world, a world I had yet to experience. I would sometimes find myself kneeling by their bedroom wall with my ear against it, listening to the groans of passion and moans of lust emanating from the other side, while caressing the soft peach between my legs.That’s what I called my vagina back then – the peach.I sort of knew, deep down, that one day my stepfather would turn his sexual desire towards me. He treated me like a queen, like his little princess, and I sometimes wondered whether he married my mother just to get inside my teenage knickers.It finally happened six months after Mum and Pat married. Mother came to my room one night, flustered and drunk, to tell me she had to go away for a few days and I was to be left home alone with my stepfather. She told me to do everything he asked and, in return, he’d be gentle with me. I may have been young and naïve, but I was far from daft, and I knew she was.
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