I'd made other excuses; that he was my brother and engaged to Lisa and he couldn't really love me ... But the real issue was that I was afraid of being the girl that a man like Steve could love.Like Jared loved me.I'd seen it in his eyes and I'd known it in my heart and if we'd had more time together ... A whole summer, I thought. If I had a summer to spend with Jared, by the end of it I'd be ready to tell him I loved him. I'd be his girlfriend and wearing dresses and little pink panties. I'd let my hair grow out and paint my fingernails red and wear high heels too. I was giggling in the shower and touching my body, biting my bottom lip and feeling it sore from Ben's gentle teeth. Him too. I coulda been a girlfriend for both of them easy, I thought. I wanted to be beautiful and see that look in Jared's eyes when he was kissing me."I'm a girl," I said out loud and I was still smiling, which should have amazed me probably. But I could see the reasons for it and how one thing had led to. The guards are changing and we have to enter the palazzo." Will you both be well, Signora Angela?" Yes, signore. The captain of the guards is my friend, he will let us go through the gates."He looked at Angela and smiled. Surely the captain of the guards was more than a mere friend. The woman was in her prime and certainly would not lack suitors. He would have had a go at her if only he had not fallen for this rosy and sweet girl who had smiled at him in a banquet long ago, in what seemed another life. Everything, before meeting and loving her, was part of his old life."Take care, my love. Do not let my Father catch you. I wish I could run away with you." Go, my beloved, we still might meet again."And thus they parted that night under the sad glance of Signora Angela. He was to hide for a while in the house while they scurried through the dark streets of Venice to the palazzo of the Dux. The night of Venice was kind to them, he was not seen when leaving the house and the women were.
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