It took me several years to realize that grandma didn’t have some sixth sense that could tell her when a train was coming. If the pull chain for the lights in the chandelier started making little circles in the air, a train was coming. Thirty seconds or so after it started swinging, you could hear the whistles or feel the vibration of the ground.A few months before she died, I asked her if the trains still kept her company. She startled at first, but then smiled at me and said, “I’m too old for the trains now...” She gave me a very funny smile and patted my hand as we sat together at the kitchen table. The she added, “but I think the trains can really help you with your loneliness.”It wasn’t until after her death that I found out that she had someone take her into town the next morning and changed her will. Previously it had said that the farm was to be sold and the proceeds divided evenly between the five surviving grandchildren. The new will cut out the house and the twelve acres. “After I was spread out and handcuffed, he told me, ‘On your knees, bitch.’ Then I was really scared. He sounded completely different. I didn’t know what to do so I just laid there without moving. He slapped me. On the butt. Hard. I screamed and he slapped me again, harder. That time I groaned and told him not to do it again. He slapped me again and told me, ‘I’ll do with you what I want, bitch, and you’ll like it.’ By then I was whimpering and crying and scared but he didn’t seem to care. He told me again to get on my knees and that time I did, trying to scoot myself up so my arms weren’t so tight. He pulled me back down and said not to do it again and I believed him. He pulled my knees apart and tied my ankles to the edge of the bed. He told me, ‘Stay that way, bitch, I’ll be back.’ ”I was mortified at what my wife had gone through. She went on, “It was so uncomfortable. I was scared… but sooo turned on, even more than before. I still didn’t know what he was going to do, but I.
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