With the car keys shut away in Vanya's handbag I suddenly felt very exposed: there was nowhere to run now the car was locked.I reached for her hand but she avoided mine saying, "Do you think it would look right for two grown women to be walking hand in hand, Jane?" She was right, of course and I tried to get my mind around how we should be acting.Vanya turned and walked slowly towards the mall's huge entrance and I followed her, finding at once that walking in high heels in a gravely car park is different from the smooth floors at home. Suddenly I had to avoid the larger stones then, with unwarranted pleasure, found myself walking on polished stone tiles. Not having to concentrate where to place each foot I looked up at Vanya with a smile, which froze as I saw the throng of people starting to swallow us up. I fought down the impulse to grab Vanya's hand as well as the initial panic at the stares at my figure, heels and face - usually in that order! - from many of the shoppers. I was. It's easy to be the innocent party. If all the blame and guilt and shame had been mine, especially if I still had any feeling for her, it would have torn me up. If she was human, she had to have guilt over what she had done to a man that loved her."I don't know what I can do, baby. I sent her an email awhile back, letting her know that I still considered us friends and that she could always talk to me. I never heard back from her." Is that true, Dad? Do you still think of her as a friend, after everything that's happened?" Yeah, we were always friends as well as lovers. There was never anybody else I could talk over anything with as easily as I could with her. I valued her advice, her intelligence. She could always make me laugh, no matter how bad the day had been. If we hadn't been married, hadn't been lovers, I think we would have been good friends. There was just something - we clicked. I don't know how to describe it better than that." Could you be her friend again, Dad?" She.
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