Ernesto grinned and nodded. Sierra and Bubba Junior sneaked glances at each other and then looked away. He is easy on the eyes, Sierra thought. And he has the bluest eyes I have ever seen. Bubba Junior noted that from the neck up, Sierra probably favored her father. But, she had her mother’s great body. The white spaghetti straps of her camisole blouse contrasted with her tanned, toned arms and shoulders. She worked with weights, Bubba Junior noted. Sena smiled at him. ‘I hear you attended Texas A&M.’ Sierra chimed in, ‘I did not know you went to college.’ She immediately regretted it. Bubba Junior eyed her coolly. ‘Yeah, I went to college. Graduated , too.’ Sierra smiled. ‘What did you major in?’ ‘Double major-Animal Science and Range Management.’ He did not mention Vietnam, the Marines, or that he spent two months in her native California, a year or so after leaving the Marines. Seirra noticed his limp, and figured it resulted from a cowboying accident. Sena had reserved some. He knew something was wrong, but no matter how hard he tried or how often he asked she wouldn’t tell him anything. He could see her pulling away, feel her pulling away. She was with him physically, she would still talk to him, still lay by his side at night when she slept, still laugh at his jokes, still hold his one of his fingers when she could. But she wasn’t with him mentally. She didn’t tell him her fears anymore, she wouldn’t tell him her problems, or when she wanted to do something dangerous. She wouldn’t tell him her worries. She would talk with him but not about anything really important or about her. She still laughed with him, but her laugh was different, it didn’t have the same life, the same spark. She didn’t want to tell him her struggles anymore. She didn’t want him to worry about her, didn’t want him to know just how far her self-hatred really went. How deeply rooted in her mind it really was. How every time anyone got just a little glimpse of it, they would tell her.
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