Dad has been saving up for years, and this is the year that he could afford the boat (or, "ship", as he insists we call it) and supplies that they need. Just ten minutes ago, I saw their tail lights heading out the driveway, around the corner, and not to return for far too long. Someone has to watch the house, and mom tells me it might as well be me, considering I don't have much better to do. Luckily, they set me up with a small weekly allowance for food, entertainment, and that sort of thing.With no siblings to share the house with, and nowhere else to go but my small chunk of middle-American suburbia, the only person I can spend any time with is my best friend, Sam Wilson, who lives just a block away. Our parents have always been very close, apparently close enough to all hop on a boat and sail the world for a quarter of the year. Sam is likewise in the same situation as me, although he's probably got it a little better considering his family is rather well off compared to my. "Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.How could anyone stoop so low.I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet.I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It seems that a caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah." To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."A Scottish love story.A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at.
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