The fact that he was quite ordinary looking didn't seem to matter and when came across and chatted and asked me out that evening I was really happy. I went home that afternoon already in a state of wet sexual arousal and found myself fingering between my legs in the shower and again when I put my panties on ready to go out with him. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought of his hands going down inside them. But I was determined that I wouldn't have sex with him: not on our very first date. But I guess I was equally sure that I probably would have sex with him on our second or third time together. After our date was coming to an end, I tried to conceal the urgency I felt inside to have sex with him as he walked me back home, but I'm still not very experienced at hiding my feelings and he asked me if I'd go to bed with him.....and after some urging I finally agreed. I guess he knew that it was only a matter of time before I agreed if he asked me often enough. It was the first. ”“Shut up!” she says, and she’s red-faced; oh we can be so cruel, I know--and she sits up and throws her pillow at me hard, drops her forehead into one palm.But a quick moment passes and I see her face is no longer red, but it’s full--no, overflowing–with some meaning I can’t guess. Dad and Mom are out to dinner, and the house is quiet and still.I say, “Oh, come on--I’m just k**ding. Look, I’m sorry,” and my nerves are jumping a bit.“Let’s just leave that alone--okay? That one thing, we leave alone?” she says.“But you liked it, didn’t you?” I admit it, I’m an asshole, a prick, that was mean, and if she stabs me to death with her ink pen, I’ll deserve it.But the strange expression returns to her face, and she shakes her head as if in disbelief that I'd pushed it this far. “Say what?” she says. “What the hell?”I test my skills of diplomacy: “I mean, at the time… that’s all. At the time, you liked it, right?”“Shut up! Shut the fuck up! And okay, maybe at the time I liked it, but.
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