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When it has finished it sees itself not as the sexy girlie it has conjured for itself, but as a bizarre young male in stockings and women’s underwear. Without that arousal it derives from its effeminacy and the girlie sensations of its pretty girlie clothes, it feels ashamed and filled with self-loathing. For, at the most, a few short hours it is able to delude itself, again, that it is a regular boy. But it’s not. The urge to dress up in stockings, pretty lingerie, high heels, skirts and to paint its face and nails will be back soon enough - as will that urge to masturbate. An experienced sissy owner knows this repetitive cycle and understand that need to stop its compulsive masturbation. Locking its male genitalia into perpetual impotence renders it a form of eunuch. But unlike a eunuch, it still retains its gonads. It will still feel those urges, but be unable to satisfy them and purge itself. That fosters a mindset of total frustration, weakness and helplessness, where it becomes. ’ She shivered. He was leaning very close to her face. Carefully, Damien took a lose strand of hair off of her eyes. She gave a deep sigh. He noticed and smiled softly. Yes! She feels it too, he thought in awe. ‘Leigh, what happened? Please, tell me…and don’t lie.’ Damien tried very unsuccessfully to hide his anger. He wanted to rip apart the bastard who did this to her. ‘I don’t know.’ Damien was ready to refute but she stopped him. ‘It’s true, but I have an idea who sent him here.’ She said. ‘Here?’ He almost shouted. Now he was really angry, she had been assaulted in her own home. Fuck! He was going to kill someone for this. ‘I was at the door on my way to work. I was ready to lock it when I was pushed back inside. I never even saw his face.’ Quiet tears fell down her cheeks. He couldn’t stand her pain. ‘Honey, Did he…hurt you, I mean… did he…?’ Damien clenched his fists trying to control himself. Leigh could see his despair, his concern plastered all over his face. ‘No. He.
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