Lucy snickered and shot me a look. "Seth, let's dance," she said slyly and led him away, leaving Ash and I alone. Alone. I was alone with Ash. Ash, who was looking ridiculously attractive. I drained the last of my drink almost desperately. God, I couldn't do this. This was a stupid idea, it'd never work anyway. Ash, who was still looking dazed, reached out to play with a strand of my hair. He still hadn't managed to form a coherent sentence, but that was probably the booze. He swallowed, capturing my gaze with wide grey eyes. "Beautiful," he said quietly, forming the word very deliberately, as if determined not to slur it. My heart stuttered. He wasn't supposed to be saying nice things! He was supposed to be smirking smugly and throwing infuriating jokes my way and laughing at my expense. He was supposed to be driving me mad. I couldn't seem to meet his eyes. I forced myself to think back to school. All the tears I'd shed over him, all the times I'd screamed at him to leave me alone,. Giggles. * *We all know that I was a really big slut during this time in my life. But I didn’t fuck every man that wanted to do it to me. Trust me, I turned away ten times as many as I said yes to. But I did say yes to a lot of them. There had to be something about the guy and the situation and what I was feeling at the time. It had to spark a desire in me that I couldn’t resist. Sometimes I would seek out those experiences and make them happen. Sometimes they would seek me out and it would happen. I was out with a bunch of my girlfriends. None of them knew what I was doing. I knew if they did they would think there was something seriously wrong with me. They wouldn’t understand all the men, or the fact they were married, or the fact they were all mostly old enough to be my father. In fact they all thought that I was a prude because any guy that hit on me in a bar was politely denied. They said I should forget about my ex and go on with my life and have a little fun. We ended up.
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