S. Government Long pig LotteryFederal law # 2008/sl/lp/0101/mGreetings! You won the Long pig Lottery!Steven Sudo; North Carolina Meat Lot # 59202As of 12/31/07 your U.S. Citizenship has been revoked and have been classified as meat.You are report to Holly Farms Inc. Meat Processing Plant # 53 in Monroe NC State Hwy 74 West @12.45pm on 02/14/2008. You have been selected for food. You will be cleaned, seasoned, slaughtered, dressed with Bar-B-Q sauce for the spit and you will be part of your Governments meat program of Skewered Long pigs; all our Long pig meat is spitted or skewered on a long pointed Stainless Steel metal rod, and are hickory smoked and slow roasted, cooked over an open flame. Government Inspectors are USDA, Butchers, and Cooks will be on hand to process you. Have proper ID with you; wear only clothes that can be cut off. No jewelry please. Please inform the Inspectors if you are meat or grain or soy fed meat unit; grain and soy meat units will be processed first. Also. "Plus, I need to let my dogs out since Bob is out of town."Nicole, on the other hand, wasn't ready to call it a night just yet. "Oh come on, let's go to one more bar for a nightcap. My treat."Jackie and Tammy looked at each other for a moment but both decided that probably wasn't a smart idea.Nicole reluctantly agreed, but then said, "Hey Tammy, I LOVE dogs! Can I come home with you to see them, and then I'll Uber back to Aunt Jackie's?"Tammy looked at Jackie for approval. Jackie said, "Sure! That will give me a chance to jump Bill's bones because all this wine is making me horny!" They laughed and off they went.On the way home, as Tammy and Nicole shared the Uber, they each commented on how much fun they'd had and how nice it was to meet one another. Nicole suddenly grabbed Tammy's hand and with an almost child-like exuberance said, "I just love you!" and kissed the back of her hand. Tammy didn't have time to react, so she just thought it was cute and thought no more of it. Nicole.
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