I know that He will never abuse the gift of my submission. I don't have a safe word unless for a specific scene he decides I need one. That gives me the space to relax, let him take full control and develop as his sub. This too is beautiful. Being his sub gives me a deep sense of contentment. A feeling of being "at home". When I think about it it makes me aroused and wet. When I reflect for longer (like now) I can feel a pressure in my chest which is the bundled up feelings and overwhelming devotion. I am his sub and will do whatever He asks me to do whenever he asks me and with whomever He decides. I do not need to think about it. This leaves me free to devote my attention to doing it well. In my vanilla life I am a decision maker and a driver and impatient to get things done. When I have decided on something I go for it. Bridging this gap is something I am still learning. I have to remind myself as his sub that it is not about me. As his sub I must learn to be patient and wait. . I'll be okay now... can I get you something to drink first?"He pauses before responding, looking toward the kitchen before saying, "No, but thanks. I can't stay too long anyways. I just wanted to see you one last time before I have to leave." I'm glad you called and came over. I'm really going to miss you. You've always been a great friend to me."We sit down together on the couch. Michael seems to be acting a little strangely right now. I guess it's just the looming move across the country that is making him act differently.I notice he is wearing the baseball cap that I bought for his birthday one year while we were in high school. It seems like he is always wearing a baseball cap. He takes it off and places it on the end table by the couch, then looks back at me."Mel, you have always been one of my best friends. Remember all the afternoons we played together after school? We used to ride our bicycles all over the countryside. You were always just like one of the other guys." Yea,.
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