Let's try it. The dress will fit so much better." First she told me to wear a camisole. "It will help if the corsetstarts chaffing", then she wrapped it around me and began to fasten theheavy hooks. The laces, old as they were, still looked in good shape,and when mom began to tighten them, I huffed a few times as the lacesgot tighter, and my ribcage felt like it was being crushed. "Just alittle more Michelle, Lift your arms and take a deep breath." With onelast pull she managed to make the sides of the corset meet. I couldstill breathe, but my waist looked absolutely tiny, and I was unsure ifI could bend over! "This is tight!" "I'm sure it is Michelle, but nowthe dress will fit much better. Let's try it." She was right. The dresslooked wonderful on me, my tiny waist accented by the trim of the dress,my breasts lying in the cups of the bra, swelling against the newgarment, almost overflowing the dress. "Want to try on some of theothers while we're at it Michelle?" "Sure, why not." . Ruthie left the counselor's office with a hand full of articles about the deformity in her brain that had totally messed up her existence and made her into the miserable person she was. She could tell that her counselor was extremely worried, but at that moment Ruthie didn't care. She left without saying goodbye or making any arrangements for their next session.It all made sense ... starting with Shannon and going back ... through all those rejections in high school ... middle school ... now it made sense. Everyone hated me because I'm such a fucking freak ... and I bet it wouldn't have been any better if I'd stayed in Nebraska... 'cause I would've been just as big a freak there too...Now she was convinced more than ever that she did not belong in the world. The sooner she smashed or blew apart her defective brain, the better. She thought about that path to the ocean ... the one that led to the cliff she always had in the back of her mind as her jumping-off point into the void. She.
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