Had I known the fate which awaited me, I most surely would have scaledthose walls, traded my comfortable tunics for bearskins, and lived out mylife in the wilds. The day on which my life changed forever began with asummons to the private chambers of the emperor himself, and although Ihad no premonition of what was to come, I was filled with foreboding as Iwas led down the luxurious corridors to Nero's inner sanctum.I had been in the emperor's presence many times, of course, yet I wasshocked by what I saw when I approached him. Although not a handsomeman, he had always been meticulous about his appearance, and indeed itwas said that on occasion he dressed himself in women's attire andparaded about his chambers. This was repeated in hushed tones by thehandmaidens with whom I gossiped after hours.On that day, the Roman Emperor could barely have passed for a freeman,let alone the ruler of the civilized world. Unshaven, wrapped in soiledbedclothes, he lay prostrate on his sumptuous. "You're fucking next you fucking moron," I yelled to the baron as they dragged me away to solitary. "You'll eat your own fucking bollocks."I was doing really well, my sentence increased by another six months, I'd gone in looking at eight years and in less than a month, it had gone up to nine, great, just fucking great.The bloke who taught me to take it all on the chin and keep quiet was an old lag called Charlie, he was doing life for killing his missus after catching her in bed with two blokes. He'd been a big man in his time, and he'd battered both of the blokes to death with a chair and then calmly slit her throat before walking down to the local nick to give himself up."Hard little bugger aren't you?" he said one night just after lights out."I can look after myself, why?" I was mistrustful of him."Calm down a bit lad," he said and gave me a roll up. "You'll fucking die in here if you don't."After a month of sharing a cell with him, I began to relax a bit, he was resigned to.
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