I knew something had changed and no longer felt like a boy.From that moment on, every day after school I would visit Mrs Jones to dress up and help her with the chores. It felt so freeing to wander around her house dressed like a girl, pretending I was a girl, thinking I was a girl. We even came up with a new name for me, Tatiana. I always loved this name and as I grew older I began to think of myself as this new person.I had started to change over two years and by the time I finished school I had began to think of myself as Tatiana more and more. I grew my hair long and stopped cutting my fingernails. Mrs Jones had taught me how to shave and wear makeup so that I looked more feminine and we would often take pictures or make videos of me.I had become a little bit of an exhibitionist and loved posing for the camera every chance that I got, feeling a sense of confidence as I strutted around her house. One day after one of our photo shoots, Mrs Jones invited me to go shopping with her.. Somehow it looked dirty and worn out and I told her so."You can never go back, Cassie—only forward." she said.I pulled her away and we walked back to the house. I was quiet most of the way, thinking of what had been, and knowing that it was finally over. We tanned for half an hour, then I took Ellie upstairs and locked my door. The afternoon was spent making soft gentle love, with a lot of kisses and hugs. At one point I broke down and cried while Ellie held me tight.I got a part-time job as an intake screener at a loan company, working mornings. Ellie bought me some clothes for work, including several outfits that I knew were very expensive.When I protested she asked, "Do you love me?"I said, "Of course!" Then let me do this for you. I love to see you in nice clothes."I accepted, and banished the thought of attempting to repay her. The prices were way beyond my budget.The 4th of July and our family holiday were coming soon and I thought Millie could respect other people's choices..
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