"Poor dad, I thought. I knew that depression took all sorts of forms, butI hadn't expected it to turn my father into a septuagenariantransvestite."Look," dad said, leaning towards me in his chair. "Can you keep asecret?"I smiled. "Of course, dad. I won't tell a soul about your new, er, hobby.Don't worry." No, no," replied dad, shaking his bewigged head. "You don't understand.They're making me do this."He was right, I didn't understand. "Who are making you do what, dad?" Iasked."Them. The other inmates," he replied, conspiratorially."Inmates?" The women who live here. I'm the only man, you see. But they want theplace to be lived in only by women. They told me that if I wanted to stayhere, I have to dress as a woman all the time."Now, my dad has always been a quick thinker. When the occasion demanded,he could be an extremely inventive and convincing liar. I had just caughthim doing something he clearly didn't want me to know about, so I wassure he'd concocted this far-fetched story to. And for some reason, the adolescent me got particularly excited about the stories featuring white wives with well-endowed black men. Maybe this was something to do with the way black athletes and sportsmen were rising to dominance in several sports. After all, it was the era of Carl Lewis dominating Athletics, the England cricket team being regularly thrashed by the West Indian team, and black players breaking down racial barriers in the world of English soccer. So I guess as these black sportsmen emerged as stereotypes of athletic manliness, it’s not surprising they seemed to play a prominent role in my fantasies.University came and went amongst the dreaming spires of academia, accompanied by more failed romantic attempts. London in my early twenties, and still not a proper long-term girlfriend in sight. I began to think maybe there was something in me that was fundamentally unlovable, with all my insecurities about the fairer-sex coming to a head in the early nineteen-nineties.But.
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