" Nate grinned as he set his bass down. "Hey, Ryan, if it's guy trouble, remember—show up naked with beer. If it's really serious, bring pizza, too." "You guys are so helpful." Ryan shook her head and laughed as the guys left, then turned to Lara as she leaned her guitar on its stand. "What's up?" "Mitch is right, you're not all here. What's going on?" "I'm fine. I'm sorry; I'm just a little tired, and you know how I am. I'm thinking about the tour." "Yeah, I got that. Ryan, you are not just distracted. You played with about as much emotion as a robot. Or dare I say, Jason?" Ryan stared at her friend. "God, I must really suck." "I know something's been bothering you, and it probably has to do with Brody." "How would you know that?" "Please, I'm your best friend." Lara scoffed, then sat down. "I'm serious. You've been in a pissy mood ever since he met your parents and if I hear one more angry metal song, I'm going to turn your iPod off with a hammer. You haven't mentioned him at all. Not a one of them was over fifteen when I got to her, so each had been a case of statutory rape (the youngest was twelve, but Lordy! You should have seen those tits!).One of these girls had been raped by an unknown intruder (yours truly) while babysitting, and two others had been drugged and then impregnated insensibly in their own beds while their parents slept in the next room. So add actual assault-type rape to the charges.And in the three cases in which I had befriended, seduced, and impregnated the young girls under a false identity, I had taken the opportunity afforded by the more accommodating several-week schedule to turn each of them into a cock-sucking, cum-swallowing, butt-fucking cockslut. So, if you like, you can tack on three counts of "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" or some such.Now, my batting average is only about three-fifty regarding progeny. Multiply my offenses by about three for the girls who never bore me a bastard.So far, my careful preparations —.
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