How close an emotion is love to hate?As for Greta; well it was true that I was attracted to her, and would enjoy being shacked up with her, but for one thing. Jazzer had been between her thighs before I had. My pride wouldn't allow me to have a relationship with a woman that one of my riflemen had already shagged. This probably says more about me than anything else I might have revealed about myself in this book. It would be OK (just) to visit her as a John, but no way could I live with her as I had with Annalise. This, of course, set me to thinking about Annalise. Munster was only a couple of hours away by train, and after I had returned to barracks from the exercise I determined to go to Munster and see if she was still there.So there I was, on a bright but cold Saturday morning in late November, sat on a Deutsche Bundesbahn train heading for Munster. I had no idea what I would say or do if Annalise was still working in that bar. I was half hoping she would be there, and half. ”“Messed up? But you got what you wanted!” Jessica protested.“That’s just it! I didn’t. What I wanted was a hot, steamy, sexy affair that lasted a few weeks. I’d get properly fucked by the school expert, and then I’d move on. THAT was what I wanted. And Steve wanted to fuck the sexy fundamentalist girl. He didn’t plan to fall in love. Ask Bethany about that.”“So all that stuff Steve wrote in his journal was true at the time, not some after-the-fact thing?”“It’s all contemporaneous with the events, Jess,” I said. “I mean within a couple of days. In rare cases, perhaps a month after the events, but that’s noted too, because I’d write about not being able to write. And Kara’s case wasn’t the only one where someone fell in love.”“You’re talking about Stephanie’s friend? The one who lost her virginity with her friend and your sister in the room?”“Trish. Among others. But I fell in love with Jennie McGrath. That’s why she broke things off so quickly. Well, that and the fact that she was.
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