Hadn't anything.Oh the howls and omgs from the booth. Anna, Catherine and Lauren all leaned in to group hug me at the same time and I felt at least 3 hands running through my hair, one hand rubbing my shoulder and one on my pantyhosed thigh.Lauren, with dark painted smiling pouted lips made eye contact with Anna. Anna drew me close and whispered, "Lauren likes you, Pam." I couldn't help myself. "I....I like Lauren too"Never mind that this was 5th grade math class gossip, I felt like a gurl with her first crush. My first gurl crush on a cougurl. I felt like a kitten.Lauren, in my right ear said, "Do Lauren a little favor, honey."Lauren nodded at Anna. I looked between them both, confused, nervous, trying to hide behind my gurl curls from my new haircut.Anna pulled me close, taking out her phone. "You should try this lighting for your first pics, here, let me show you some of mine" I felt Lauren nudging me so that I was hip to hip with Anna. The lycra/spandex of our outfits gripped. Becky getsto wear all those really nice and interesting things, but I guess I'm noteven supposed to think about stuff like that. But I do! I can't helpit! I think about it all the time! I guess, I always have. She gets towear nice things like that because she's a girl, and I can't because I'ma boy. It's so not fair!Becky always gets really interesting things for her birthday andChristmas too. And I always get dumb stuff. I mean, is it so bad thatBecky and I both like to play with her dolls and her doll house stuff?Is it really so bad? And she has all this really cool jewelry makingstuff that's so neat! I love to create cool looking things with it towear! But I guess that's bad too because Mom and Dad yell at me for thattoo. So I'm sorry. I guess I haven't been all that good this year afterall. But like I said, I kind of can't help it. Those are the thingsthat interest me, not the dumb stuff I'm supposed to like.Santa, why did I have to be born a boy? Why wasn't I.
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