Now on Christmas and whenever I saw my family the usual question of if I already had a girlfriend would swamp me like a tidal wave. I could never tell an almost Amish family that I was very, very fond of men.Back to the present the bell rang and I bolted out and straight to the teacher's lounge, he wasn't there, so I went to his office, he was in. I knocked, and every knock sounded like my heart was going to explode-Yes?-It's Martin, sir, I need to ask you something- he opened the door, his shirt was no on and his nipples were steel hard. I was hypnotized by those guns and when he noticed he smiled in a much cute way,-Do you like them-and he reached for his crotch -Come in.-I went, like sleep-walking.-What is it you needed from me?-A...a...a... swimsuit, I forgot mine at home, s.sss..ssSir.-Oh-he replied mysteriously...-Try this one on for size-Ok, where is the changing room?Oh, use the bathroom and he pointed to a door behind his desk.I went in and closed the door, yet I did not. She wrote his name on my arm with a felt pen, and surrounded it with aheart like a girly tattoo, which made us all laugh.Throughout the week the training and polishing of my performancecontinued, as did all the talk about boys. At some point I realised thatin the heat of all the discussion I'd dropped the "If I was a girl..."prefix from my vocabulary and I was now just discussing who had thecutest bum and the sweetest smile, without appreciating just how feminineI was now sounding. It frightened me.Just before leaving on the Wednesday night we each made a list of all theboys in our class. We agreed to write down ratings for them all for thefollowing evening so we could talk about them.The following day, during a rather boring maths lesson, I found myselftrying to decide if Peter Taylor had nicer hair than Bobby Watson anddaydreaming about it would be like to kiss one of them.Look, I know what you're thinking and the answer is no, I'm not gay. Nordo I want to be a girl, it's all just.
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