I tell you, Johnny, he smelled so sexy. Some kind of perfume, I guess. And that's when I noticed that he had absolutely no hair on his body. Smooth and shiny he was, like polished marble. And so young in spite of his broad chest and bulging muscles." And you were getting smooth and shiny in your pants, I guess:" You bet. Well, I was only getting used to that unusual situation when I heard the limo rolling on gravel, and a minute later it stopped. When we got out it was on the porch of an enormous white house, colonial style and all, and a butler led us into the house, not blinking an eye. The livingroom was huge, with panels and pillars, and strategically placed was an enormous armchair, almost like a throne, where my gods led me. Then two of them sat down on the carpet at my feet, and the third took up position in front of me. My God he was beautiful. I tell you. Not an ounce of fat, not one hair on his body, his muscles rippling and bulging, but not like one of those ugly. Once accepted into my family, I believe that assassination of a talk show host is the only offense for which you can be expelled, though the rest of the family refuses to confirm this rumor. We seemed to be prepared for our trip to the City of Neon. My grandmother, who lives in Northern California, was flying into McCarran International, and would meet us at the hotel. My mother and younger sister were sharing a rental van with David and me, so that we could drive from Flagstaff and transport my mother’s wheelchair comfortably without sacrificing space for my sister’s metric ton of luggage. Recognizing my mother’s belief that driving prowess comes free with the Y chromosome, David had even volunteered to do the driving. Finally, on October 24, we were ready to go. In order to make a good impression, David had donned a button-up shirt, while I had eschewed my usual red nail polished for a more subdued and grams-friendly pink. It seemed that we were prepared, but I still worried for.
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