“Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. “Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. “Yours is.”Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, “Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afternoon and I’ll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.” Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, “What do you want?”“Nothing important, sir,” the airman replied, “I’m just here to hook up your telephone.”Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “Sure, buddy.” Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again!” Soldier: Do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “No, SIR!”Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? A:. She sent me a snap of her after a session in a tanning booth. It was a picture of herself in a full length mirror, so I could see her entire body. She was wearing a black bikini, and her body was even more incredible than I had imagined. She had a flat stomach and a pierced belly button. The text said “How did my tan come out ;)”. I immediately decided that enough was enough. I called her and asked “Do you wanna go get that drink?”Later that night around 10PM we met up at a local watering hole. I was first to arrive, and took up a seat at the bar that I made sure had an open stool next to it. She arrived soon after and immediately gave me a hug. “I’m so glad that you asked me out! I was wondering what else I would have to do”, she jested. Wow, she looked amazing. She was wearing a tiny low cut black dress, had straightened her hair, with red rose lipstick, and was wearing black high heels. She looked good enough to eat.“Pity” I responded, “What else could I have gotten from you?”She.
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