. He wasn’t. Anything. He felt like he was being ripped apart. He felt as if his insides were struggling to become his outsides. He felt lost in a way he never had before. He needed normalcy. He needed something to grasp, some small bit of a normal life for him to hold onto. He might – just might – be all right if he could only find a single, solitary thing to grasp.“Hermes, I need a place to run,” he started. He’d begin there. He’d begin the reconstruction of his soul with the one normal thing he could control. He’d need his routine, latch onto his routine. It would ground him, anchor him. It would keep him safe while he figured out what the fuck he was doing here.“I am not the AI you know as Hermes,” a voice replied gently. Calix knew it – but he was concentrating too hard on staying upright and couldn’t spare the cycles to get the name right.He took a deep breath, trying to ground himself. He could swear he heard some exasperation in the voice, but he wasn’t sure the AIs were. That was all that it took to set my emotions into a tizzy. I cried myself to sleep eventually, but before that happened, I spent most of the night remembering making love with your father." To answer your question, yes Emma, I loved having sex with your dad. We made love nearly every night, sometimes all night. It was exciting, it was fulfilling, it was wonderful, and I have not enjoyed that since the day he died. Hearing your voice through that door was more than I could handle. I did finally get to sleep last night, but it was not until very late, and I was just getting up when Kyle returned from taking you to town. I was in the middle of the hall holding a towel from your bathroom as he came up the stairs. I heard him climb the stairs and it sounded like your dad did when he would come upstairs. I so wanted it to be your father; I was in no hurry to get back into my room, even though I only had a light robe on. I wanted it to be him. I wanted to make love in the worst way. I.
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