It was like clockwork at 10 pm. I wondered if it was her bedroom. My penis twitched as I imagined her taking off her clothes and standing naked in that room. My penis stiffened and I unbuttoned my jeans and took my hard penis out. I fantasized touching her firm body and masturbated until I shot a couple strips of sticky cum onto my shirt. I became obsessed with my fantasy of her, and I was trying to build up the nerve to sneak over to her house around 10 pm and see if I could peek into her room. It took me a few days to get up the balls to attempt my peeping tom adventure. If I got caught, it could be a real problem. I waited until there was a dark night. No moon-no lights on. I sat in my chair and waited until I saw her bedroom light go on then snuck across the driveway to the side of the window. Her d****s were drawn, but there was a sliver of light between them. I cautiously moved my face so I could see through the this slit. At first I couldn’t see anything but a bed. I waited. What I did know was that I couldn’t let the fear of making mistakes paralyze me. As Anala, Bethany, Jennifer, and my little sister had pointed out, all I could ever do was what I thought was right and what I thought was best.What I’d figured out from everything that had happened during the previous six years was that sometimes I should delay decisions in the hopes of having more information, but even inaction was a decision of sorts. The other thing that I realized that I couldn’t do was run away from my problems. I’d tried that any number of times and while there had been some temporary relief, the problems still existed and still had to be dealt with. I had to confront the issues head on, like I had with Stephie, instead of trying to flee.I’d run away from the trouble with my mom by going to Sweden, and while I’d had some temporary respite, the problem had still been there when I returned. I’d run away from Jennifer when she’d told me about the move to Seattle and three years later.
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