She had settled down to the life of a German officer's mistress when the topic of the next official dinner was raised. She suggested to the Colonel that she should be brought in with the other women, and made to kneel and suck him."But then they will see that you know what to expect." Oh, that's no problem," she commented, "I'll just line up with the other women and will not say anything to them." That is what I expected you to promise," replied the Colonel, "What worries me is that you might persuade all the women to revolt by refusing to perform and telling them not to cooperate. While that would not present much of a problem, and many of the officers might prefer to fight to achieve their conquests, it could injure my reputation as an officer who can be trusted to organise any kind of operation efficiently." I will be good, I promise."The Colonel considered this, and then spoke to her very firmly, threatening dire, but unspecified consequences if she disobeyed and gave any hint to. "She was about to log off, when she decided to write Douglas an email. Maybe, if she put her thoughts down in writing, he would think again, and not push her away."My Blue-eyed devil,How can I tell you what is on my heart, without hurting and crying? A part of me wants to get to know you and fall deeper in love with the other side of you (the one I do not see in bed). I want to scream, "Why not?Then I rationalize things and tell myself, I understand. Until the next day, then I miss you once more and start crying again. Damn-it, I wanted you to be my love, the only man in my life, forever.However, deep down I know that we will never have that kind of love. I also know that part of my feelings stem from what I did not find with Bryan. I know these are rebound feelings that I am having. Although, we may thing it real love. It is not the kind of love that takes time to develop and mature. Still, I wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming, "Why can't it be?"Douglas, how do I.
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