.. big." I wouldn't have it any other way. Can I stop by this evening, maybe Ican help you and your mother reach a decision?" Sure, I guess, why not?"I was not sure that I could do what she wanted, yet the money was morethan fantastic, and it would be very hard to turn down, no matter what Ifelt. Deep down I still harbored the illusion that I was merely a boypretending to be a girl, totally unaware that under Elaine's tutorage, Ihad become more of a girl than boy. What I felt was ineptness, she andMadeline thought was coquettishness. I thought I was to big to be amodel. They said I had the perfect for Misses sizes. My mother wouldfreak right out when she found out that I had been asked to be a model,but there was no way that I could, or would, do it unless she agreed. Theminute I got to mom's office I realized that none of her staff knew me asa girl, but I had to talk to her, right away. I casually went in and toldMarcie, her secretary that I needed to talk to her. I was let into. There is an opened beer waiting for me, I sit down and look at her.“Please don’t be angry.”I say nothing and pour my beer into a glass.“Oh god this is not easy.”I sit quietly waiting for her to get to the point.“You know I love you.”“Do I?” I ask.“Of course I do, it’s just that...”I look at her, fuck her I’m not going to make it easy on her, no matter where this is headed.It’s just that...” she hesitates. “There’s this guy at work ... We’ve gotten to be friends, well more than friends.”Well she’s started now. Will she back track or actually say what she wants, the suspense is killing me.“I’ve ... we ... umm I’m attracted to him.”There she has said it. I peer into my glass and watch the rising bubbles.“I love you Col, so I’m asking if you’d mind, no of course you mind. I suppose I’m asking if I can ... If you ... Christ can you say something.“Nights are fair drawing in.”“Oh hell, you know what I mean.”“Do I?”“Christ now you’re being awkward.”“Am I?”She looks at me, I can see a strange.
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