I’ll stand in the back with those others.” He pointed to a few black men who were dressed in suits standing in the back of the church. I really DID NOT want to leave my husband’s side, but before I could protest the people on the pew squeezed together to make a small space for me. I squeezed onto the end of the pew next to a rather large black man who I guessed was well over 200 pounds. It’s a good thing I am a very slender girl or I would not have fit. I’m 5 feet 8 inches tall but I only weigh 118 pounds. I have brown hair that I have colored with blond highlights. People tell me I’m beautiful. I did some amateur modeling and pageant work before I had k**s and got so busy. My husband tells me I still look as pretty as I did in college, but I’m starting to see a few lines in my face (which I can cover up with a little makeup). Sigh… One cannot stay young forever…I felt very awkward sitting by myself next to a row full of black people. I was pressed up against the big. No child should have to go through an accident that results in the death of a parent. And no child should be shunned by their father and left alone to grieve following such an ordeal. That was partly why she was happier when she could freely explore her sexuality with the other girls at her first two boarding schools. She had been emotionally abandoned at a vital point in her life. Feeling some emotional connection and understanding fulfilled a profound need. Not in the way she needed it most, but it helped.I now had a better understanding of why Lacey appeared as such a bratty, stuck-up bitch at first. Before her mother’s death, she had been a kind, loving, energetic, and happy young girl. However, now that sweet girl was racked with guilt and grief that she didn’t know how to deal with. To avoid the pain, Lacey had constructed this new persona to shield herself from the new self-destructive emotions.While understanding her was all well and good, it meant that I now faced a quandary..
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