Steve give me. Is pretty, no?" No," he said. "I mean, yes. I mean, no, we shouldn't be doing this." The "this" at that moment was Zosia straddling him, rubbing her sex into his crotch.It was only his extreme inebriation that saved him from the inevitable reaction. But that drunkenness also made it difficult for him to resist when she snatched his hands and clapped them to her breasts. Or when she leaned forward and plunged her tongue into his mouth.As the voluptuous young woman writhed on his lap and offered herself to him, Steve felt guilty that he had gotten drunk enough to be put in that position. But he also regretted that he was too drunk to enjoy it as he should.Which made him feel guiltier that he was fooling around with their nanny while his wife was away dealing with her father's death, for heaven's sake.Which made him regret all the more that as long as he was so guilty, he couldn't get it up and really have something worth the guilt.The pain above his eye was spreading. He could do no wrong and always got away with murder. My entire childhood was a never-ending soap opera. The one thing that I, Mr. Anonymous, had above all the others was that I was born with a brain. Collectively, their combined intelligence wouldn’t amount to a double-digit IQ.When I graduated from college, therefore, I made sure to find a job as far away from them as possible. Parochial as my family was, I was also absolutely sure that I would be rid of them for good. I wasn’t exactly sent on my way with a stash of money to start my new life, but my freedom more than up for that. Initially, I would phone home once a week but these calls were always cut short by some or other drama because of Ms. Ritalin or Mr. Hell-Raiser. Shortly, these calls regressed to a bi-monthly routine followed by a monthly call, which thereafter, became standard practice.I had long known that I was gay, but having grown up in a family where homosexual people were referred to as queers I was sure the word.
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