The prospect of being alone overnight with Aly made me cautiously anxious. My right hand had been my only sexual partner so far but I was hoping that Aly might expand my sexual horizons. We were very comfortable with each other and our conversation to this point was casual and focused around the wedding and reception. However, when we were in her kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards and refrigerator for meal possibilities she shocked me beyond belief. “So, Ben, are you still a virgin?” she asked very casually. I tried not to stammer but decided to be honest, realizing that my inexperience would be obvious if we had sex. “More or less,” I admitted, “I’ve not found a girl whom I like enough to have sex with.” “Same here,” she said, “of course masturbation helps but I’m just not ready for the real thing yet.” Somehow she could sense disappointment in my face and she suddenly gasped, “Oh my God! You didn’t think we would have sex, did you?” I hesitated too long and she guessed. They were pleased."Children? We certainly hadn't discussed using that word. I worried the infantilization would undercut my ability to negotiate, but it was out there and I couldn't think of any way to fix it."Good. I'm gratified they appreciated my efforts." He was aloof.That was an effort? Declining to make my wedding a marketing circus was an effort? He was gratified? I knew efforts was an attempt to spin his backing down as going out of his way to do something nice for us. That I could stomach. Gratified was just pompous. Jeff would have been gratified I didn't burst into flame and call my father an asshole.My newfound ability not to fly off the handle was a measure both of how far I had come and how far I had needed to come. I was embarrassed at who I used to be."Dad, you have a lot of business friends and associates coming to my wedding. I think you're not doing them justice by inviting them this way."Since I hadn't had a lot of time to prepare for this, I had discussed the.
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