But I used to watch B.F.(blue films) always with one of my older friend of my local colony. On every Sunday we use to watch a b.f. So on that day I and Masi were watching a movie on TV. It was “RAM TERI GANGA MELI”, and we were sitting too close to each other also. When the scene of a song came which had mandakni taking bath in fall an indifferent feeling arose in my heart, well i couldn’t make it, but we laughed for a time being and kept watching the movie. Then came another scene in which mandakni was feeding her baby with her really big boobs that were really good and now. I was out of control, my Masi suddenly changed the channel, but when i resisted, she reverted back to the same channel, the scene was still going on. Then when the movie ended up we talked for a movement and in between she asked me that why did you wanted to watch that movie, I had no answer, then into my astonishment, she came near to me and unbuttoned her shirt upper buttons, and I had a ride of heaven . As. My heart breaking for the young man that doesn’t believe his life is worth living, for a gentle man with so much to offer so many, that doesn’t want to live this life. An end seems inevitable, and I’m not strong enough to stop it. I ask him to seek help from someone, something stronger than me. He doesn’t believe it will help. He doesn’t rant and rave, he quietly accepts this as his happiness. It is what he wants. He apologizes to me for God bringing me into his life when He did. I thank God. His mother thanks me, and God, for coming around when I did. Like I’m supposed to make a difference. Like knowing him fulfills my divine mission in this lifetime. I hope in some small way I have helped, I hope in some small way I’ve shed some light in his dark world. I spend time with him, and look into his deep brown eyes. Sometimes lit with laughter, other times shuttered and shaded and filled with pain. I’ve seen the glint of tears more than once. And all I want to do is hold him, cradle him.
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