Of course, if I were possessed, Bryce would have already been on the floor with me on top straddling him… “Ready to go?” a note of apprehension in his voice as he broke my fantasies. I wondered if he caught that creeping blush on my cheeks…? “Let’s go for a walk, shall we?” I was already in a defensive mode. I walked past him and made my way to the door, obviously embarrassed. I heard an amused chuckle from him behind me before I felt him brush his arm up against mine and took my hand. He squeezed them tightly then raised them to his lips to give the back of my palm a quick, sweet kiss. I bit my lip. Smiling down on me again, I realized his apprehension was gone. My anxiety had faded away too, replaced only by a feeling that is so utterly familiar whenever he was around. Bryce led me outside the building, just as small droplets of rain water began falling from the skies. We didn’t have an umbrella. We didn’t mind. And we walked together under the soft drizzle, in that late afternoon. I kept staring. "Areyou cool with this?," the man asked. I sort of nodded and gulped. "Touchit," he told me. I did. It was stiff and big. "Ever done this before?,"he asked me, and I lied and said, "Sure." "Then play with it," he told me, "Feel it up good." And I did. It felt good. Big and hard, and he had a lot offoreskin. I'd hardly ever seen a guy with that. But it felt wonderful.And all the time, I'm thinking, "You're making yourself a fag." I didn'tcare. The only time I stopped was when he started to shoot, and I pulledmy hand away. It squirted a lot, all over the floor. "You're cool," hetold me, and walked out. I washed my hands in the sink there for a long time that day. Icouldn't quit thinking about it, how it felt in my hand. And wondering ifMike's Dad looked like that. And feeling sick. I went a couple of days without whacking off. I just felt so badabout what I had done. I kept thinking I was making myself gay. And Ididn't want that. I didn't want to be.
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