I’m still breathing. Not like Christopher. His name is a piercing blade to the numbness and I am grateful for it. October I am glad you brought me back here. The uncompromising landscape soothes me. The grey moody sky, the shrieking winds and ocean spray. The rage of the waves echoes through me, it feels so familiar. But enough, I must have my say today. The ‘madness within’ you call it. A dominating, powerful force that you feel drives me to both despair and delight. You derive comfort in any medical diagnosis that supports this theory of yours. And shallow optimism from chemicals designed to ‘correct’ this condition of mine. Madness? Perhaps. Powerful, certainly. But it’s no nameless force, no almighty independent power in itself. It is me. Part of me. All of me. By what right can you claim that a part of me that defines who I am is separate, an illness, a sore to be healed? I know what I feel. I know who I am. Can you say the same? Unlike you I can see where this ends. The waves. "What do you mean when you say we have to proceed to the nextlevel?"Stella smiled and said. "Well that's going to be everyone's ultimate goaland the next level means that your going to have sexual intercourse with aman."The woman sat looking nervous until Lisa said. "Does this mean that weshould leave our rings on our fingers unless we really plan on having sex witha man?"Stella replied. "That's exactly what I mean by the next level. I don'twant anyone to remove their rings unless they plan on taking a man to theirsuite and having him spend the night with you."Stella continued. "Are all of you remembering to take your birth controlpills?Stella saw the woman shaking their heads that they were and said. "Good.Every one of these men having been tested for disease and also for potency andthey are all very potent."Stella finished the meeting and gave them one more reminder. "Ladies. I'llbe speaking to each of you individually within the next two days and if youshould decide to progress to.
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