.. when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up. ... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. ... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." ... The congregation of 500 members only has seven last names in the church directory. ... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub. ... the collection plates are hubcaps from a '56 Chevy. ... instead of bells, you are called to service by a duck call. ... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks. ... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill". ... that "Thou shall not covet" thing applies to huntin' dogs, too.This one is compliments of Earl JohnA young couple, were just back from their honeymoon, and settling in to a life of married bliss when ... The. There I was, I had been ready to adapt to a life of monotony, sorry monogamy, and she tells me not to bother. I was no longer a naïve virgin, but her attitude was perplexing to say the least. It was a disconcerting conversation.In fact, a week into the summer break, Rachel happened to be present at the next occasion that I was to break a cherry, that of her best girlfriend, Theresa; Rachel had actually orchestrated the whole event. I found out afterwards that not only did Theresa also have a crush on me, but that the two of them had shared many a sleepover consisting of a lot of Sapphic loving, fantasising about me being there with them. Talk about a serious boost to the ego!Theresa was most definitely not a carbon copy of Rachel. She was swarthy, had an appearance of being of Mediterranean origin, with long flowing dark hair, halfway down her back, and brown eyes. Theresa stood about 5 foot two inches in her socks, and weighed just over a hundred pounds.Theresa was a little nervous,.
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