"You've always had a good body."I smiled and thanked him for the compliment.We continued talking about other things and couple of days later he said I was looking beautiful, which caught me off guard because he had never complimented on my clothes.I replied that I wasn't wearing anything special: Just a white T-shirt (although it was a bit tight, so was revealing the roundness of my big breasts)."Well you're looking lovely."I didn't attach any other meaning to his remark and continued talking to him. That day later in the night he text messaged me and asked whether I could come online and since Harry and Dan were sleeping, I replied yes and sat down to chat with him.As soon as I sat down in front of the webcam, he asked me to put on that T-shirt again."Why?" I said, surprised at his request."Because you look more beautiful in that then in this nightgown."I wasn't in mood to change but he insisted so much that I finally relented and went back to bedroom and changed into that T-shirt. Who is stronger, who is more stubborn, who can stay here the longest before breaking this emotionally charged silence? It’s long, it’s tortuous, and I’m thinking such awful things I could never repeat them to another human being as long as I live. I’m biting the inside of my lower lip, hard. I can taste the saltiness of my blood and I gnaw a little more, concentrating on the pain. He is focusing now on the television, it’s reflected in his eyes, and my god, there’s just nothing else in there. He’s blank for a while, staring, and I continue to chew another layer of skin off my lower lip. Finally, he says, ‘Girl, you are damned lucky I don’t throw you out that door. If you were your sisters, or your brother—do you know how many times I threw them out of the house?’ I shrug, typical adolescent defiance. I burn with a hatred for him that my mind can’t even fathom. I long to be thrown out—I want freedom, and escape, I want more, always more than I have, and can’t have it, and I feel.
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