And I'd also always been the one in charge withthe women I'd dated. No doubts about that either.Yet, here I am, just over a year into this character I'm being paid toplay for this ad campaign and I've almost completely lost any idea ofwhere I am now, sexually. I now have no desire - no desire at all,honestly, to be in charge in my relationship with Ms. Cambrai. I findmyself not just able to defer to the decisions the men around me make butam eager to defer to them. To see them smile when I agree with them justmakes me feel so happy inside and so worthwhile. I never used to feelthat way when another man smiled at me. Or when I agreed with him. Butpleasing the men in my life now seems a paramount thing to me. Am Ilosing myself in this character I'm portraying? Has the part I'm playingbecome who I actually am? And why am I so unable to resist any of it?Why does submitting to it more and more just seem to make me happier witheach submission? Am I that out of control of myself?. . was ALL she had worn up top. There had been no blouse visible at the lapels of the jacket and, the way the chest area of the jacket had been undulating, there had obviously been no bra underneath either.Yvonne had sat down in front of Carl and, crossing her legs slowly and grandly--à la Sharon Stone, flashing to him the fact that there was no covering of any kind under her skirt between Carl and Yvonne's naked pussy--she had begun to relate to him his schedule for the next two days, as she normally did, reading from her tablet PC. Needless to say, Carl could not keep his attention on the facts being relayed to him by the gorgeous woman, as he had been mesmerized by her sexiness.He had been annoyed at himself at the same time. This was symptomatic of his problems in the area of sex that he had dealt with for his whole life since entering puberty.Carl's mother had tried to raise him with the strict morals of her very conservative northeastern Episcopal upbringing. But his father had.
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