The rooms were steeped in long purple shadows when I unlocked the door once again. The peace was soothing after my hectic day of playing the polite tourist. My jaw still ached from all the insincere smiling I had been forced to do. I desperately wanted to pour myself a glass of cool wine, but I realised it would be stupid to open the fridge and risk warming it up any further.Instead I opened the french windows and stepped out on to my patio to wait for Paulo to arrive with his tools. That thought made me crack a smile. The loud knock on my door soon wiped it off my face again. My nerves jangled unexpectedly as I hurried back inside to let him in. I felt like a teenager waiting for her first date. Ha! If only he knew... "Hallo again Mrs Black," Paulo grinned engagingly, a small tool bag held in his hand."Please call me Meredith," I said, stepping aside to allow him to enter. I hated being called Mrs Black — it held too many memories.Paulo headed straight for the cupboard under the. Part one is all about the beginning and how I slowly learned that I was into guys and abuse. I would love to say something traumatic happened to me to be this way but the fact is I was born this way. I have two loving parents and three sisters and none of them know to this day who I really am in my bipolar moments. From an early age I used to love to abuse my asshole and penis. I would shove things up my ass, i would sit on bedposts and at times shove rods of all shapes and sizes down my penis. I still did not reach puberty. I vividly remember the first time I realized how much I loved pain...I came home from school one day and very one was gone. I was at a point where my fantasy was about being a held captive and forced to do things...I had begun to have a curiosity with my piss and I had tasted it several times always trying to dare myself to drink it but could not...So this day I pretended I was a captured prisoner and would be given two choices. Drink piss or with stand.
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